Church Handbook of Instructions

Last night was so hard. I was exhausted, yet I only slept in thirty minute intervals. I went to bed with my cell phone in my bra (ya, I have sports bra’s which I wear to bed, have since I was 12). Anyway, I was worried that the Pri-Pres. would call with some important mission that would require me to hop out of bed and save the ward. I inflate my importance.

Actually, I was so excited that I was like a child waiting for Christmas morning. So being as sleep deprived as I was you can imagine my panic as my cell phone alarm, set on high, went off in my non-existent cleavage at 6am!

Then I remembered that it was my first Primary Activity Day (PAD) as a member of the presidency. I was so excited that I jumped out of bed showered and dressed and was ready to go in minutes!There were a few things that I was obsessed with:

1. The “meet your teacher” activity day is always pajama dress. I was freaking out about the feeling nekkid thing and the snuggie thing. So I bought a semi-girdle (a cross between sheer energy pantyhose and a girdle, which starts at the waist and ends at the knees). Snuggie/nekkid problem solved.




2. I was so anxious about things that might go wrong, I was worried that I might:
   a. Walk around chugging a half gallons of chocolate milk.
   b. In a stress induced psychosis, push a child off his chair so that I could devour his pancakes and bacon.
   c. Stab someone’s wild child with a plastic fork dripping with maple syrup.
   

Happily my fears were unfounded. The children were angels. The teachers showed and assisted. We had so much great help from Husbands, Bishopric Members, and the Pri-Pres. three teenage daughters. Best of all my sanity prevailed and I refrained from harming any consumables or children.

Plus I bought a nice new pair of PJ’s and the cutest fuzzy Mary Jane slipper sock things you have ever seen for PAD. I didn’t even think of medicating with valium or chocolate. I just kept thinking this is so nice. Who knew?

When I got home I found that my sister had emailed me with the fact that the Sunday following PAD is Free Chocolate Sunday regardless of diets and even Fast Sunday. She claimed doubters should check it out in the Church Handbook of Instructions where it is clearly printed for all to see. I emailed her that I would have to save that clause for when I needed it because I thought today went so smooth.

Life is good!